Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
