What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
