Welp...herpes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
