This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
And then he peed in my hair
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