well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
