can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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