Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
