We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
