FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
