I'm laying in your front yard are you home
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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