Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
