..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
