VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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