when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
