Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize