24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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