Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Randomize
