If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
