Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
