Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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