I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
