Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
