Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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