I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He had one of those small greek statue penises
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
