i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
