just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Hippo gnu deer
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
