I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
