Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
