guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
