The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
