I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
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She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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