I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
