When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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