Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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