Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
