Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
