meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
