It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize