Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
