I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize