Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
