escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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