No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
