so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my being single is dangerous.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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