Please, let me fuck your mom
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Houston, we have a blender
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I am available for nakedness
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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