Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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