we're blogging at a bar
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
