Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
