Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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