those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
