next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
