The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
