You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
what the fuck happened to the tacos
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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