i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
