The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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